Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
