i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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