i permit you to call me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
