I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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