Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
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She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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