why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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