Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
