If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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