Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
