Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i need some magic done to my vagina
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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