I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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