Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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