people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
