HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
