You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Girls should come with a carfax report
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This is my gift to your gina
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
