just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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