The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
