i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
