my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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