Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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