Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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