It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
