Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
