She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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