i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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