I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
