The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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