just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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