I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
