i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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