Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize