Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
