Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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