you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
