No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
