i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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