playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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