talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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