just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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