Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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