My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
