i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
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Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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