Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
