dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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