Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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