I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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