obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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