last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Farmville is her only friend.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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