We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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