omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
