You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
