Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
