I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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