2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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