things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize