wrigley field is MILF paradise
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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