Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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