I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
