something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
