Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
