I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
