Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
